Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Day 113: Rehm pt. 4: No Rekka, No Sangrail, No Hope


✻   ✻   ✻   ✻   ✻

Might I remind you, this has been quite the day and unfortunately it ended in tragedy. Gideon and I returned to our group. Only 4 of the villagers were still alive. It was as though we were in a tomb...
Isaac filled Gideon and I in on an exit that was behind a doorway I hadn’t seen earlier. It was the only option that they could use and it was said to have it’s dangers. However, Isaac wanted to wait for his familiar, Brook, before moving on. While we waited, I figured I’d give a brief answer to his question earlier. Plus, sitting in silence with the dead all around us just seemed... haunting.
“Isaac, about your question earlier,” I began nervous to share because everyone was exhausted and weary from all that had already happened, but I pressed on since it was better than silence, “I fell because I suddenly was unconscious. Light engulfed me and in my unconsciousness I regained my memories. I know who I am and I remember my purpose,” I summarized.
“Whoop dee do el general,” Rekka began, her tone condescending, “Does this mean that you’re not going to go around killing people pointlessly?" she eyed me daringly, her lips pursed as she continued to spit her venom words, "So now you have half an idea instead of no idea,” she then looked to the villagers, “By the way, how stupid are you people? Falling into a well like that? Didn't your deity give you any brains?”
I wanted bite back, chastise her for lashing out at the villagers, but I wasn’t going to feed into her existential crisis. Yes, that was what she was going through, though at that moment I thought she was being plain angsty with all that had happened that day. Mind you, she had learned she had deific potential and watched a dozen people die, one of them being Jessica whom I knew she had bonded with.  And let’s not forget how the Gods loathed her very existence and yet she was the one to fix it all. I don’t blame her for how she acted with that perspective, but in the moment, it was baffling and down right frustrating to deal with. So I looked at everyone else, ignoring her comments.
“Yes! Let us just stand around in the underdark and wait for the guest to show up that would love to eat us!” Rekka continued, throwing her arms in the air. It was mentioned that the way out was revealed because the trolls warned the group that they were expecting guests that may not be as kind to us as they were.
Rekka continued to spiral out of control. “Of course we could just use magic- oh wait, we can’t! It doesn't work here! But yes, let’s just wait for the guest, I have nothing better to do. We're all going to starve anyway since no one has food, let alone drinkable water! And remember our time in the dwarven ruins?! Here we can't tell time! We're literally in the dark with no idea how time flows in the underdark!"
Everyone stared, gaping at the tantrum Rekka was throwing at us. Oh the thoughts that muddled my mind as my anger tried to take over. How dare she be so selfish and think of herself! Had she any idea how we felt? How we, too, knew it was seemingly hopeless to get out alive?  
I took a deep breathe before I responding, hoping to sound indifferent, “Rekka, I know we need to get out of here and that's what I, and everyone else, want to do. I believe we're waiting on Isaac's ghost,” then some bite slipped out, “If you're ready to get going, lead- the- way,” I said, gesturing toward the exit while keeping my eyes on her, steady and hard, “I figured if we're going to stand around waiting for Isaac's ghost to come back, I might as well be polite and answer his question from earlier." I folded my arms about me. There wasn’t  much for them to do other than to provide a sense of protection.
"Really?” Rekka said, massaging her temple for a moment, “If my brain is still working you can get out! In fact you have been out several times! You didn't just watch all these people's skin fall off. You haven't lost all your things for the second time in the past month. You didn't just lose over 100,000 gold that you were saving. You do not have the whole of Deity-dom wanting your death,” I would like to beg a differ, “You might be some whatever General from whatever time, but I am 15 year old girl who is now up against the whole world! I don't give two cents about what you think. I am not spending another minute waiting in fear as some unknown being or creature comes to attack us!!” Rekka shrieked. She paused for a breathe before staring everyone down and finishing, “I wouldn't be in this mess if I didn't meet up with all you. So leave me alone!" Rekka then turned her back on us.
Of course not Rekka... I thought, letting my anger course through my mind, because we don’t have hearts like you. We don’t care about things or people the way you do. How could ANY of us empathize with YOU!? I’d be more than happy to leave your sorry body here in Rehm because obviously YOU are better off without us. Obviously it was us who made you to be the TILJ SANGRAIL! WHY DID I EVER THINK I COULD WILLINGLY AID YOU!!!
...How tempting it was  to call upon Heironious. I knew he’d come, but that same part of me that refused to kill Meryth, despite my better judgement, stilled my tongue. I was to protect her. I was to help her overthrow Heironious and Erythnul. As much as her words stung, her inconsiderate behavior infuriated me, I saw her small frame shake. With her back to me, there was something there that showed fear, and that was when I knew how scared and confused she was about her purpose.
I was suddenly ripped from my thoughts as I saw Isaac go over to Rekka. What looked like him attempting to console, as he laid a hand on her shoulder, turned into him swinging her around and cuffing Rekka with his other hand. My mouth dropped open, but before I could jump on Isaac for his attack, Rekka caught him mid sentence with her sword.
“I will NOT-” Isaac began to bark, but his voice caught and his eyes grew wide. All of us held our breath. Isaac pulled himself off the blade, his face contorting. He looked like he wanted to clip out a few more words, but Rekka spoke over him.
“I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE!” she shrieked. All of us stood stunned as Isaac stumbled back a few more steps, looked to the door that lead to a possible exit, and ran off with whatever strength he had left.
Tears were spilling over as my paralysed body slowly regained feeling. Kill her! I could hear in the back of my head, KILL HER!
I can’t! I thought to myself angrily and defeated like. It was exactly the same feeling I had with Meryth. How vile Rekka had proven herself to be just now and I still couldn’t kill her!
Once Rekka looked my way, I looked her long and hard in her eyes.
"You are going to make an excellent deity. How fortunate I get to serve you." I said slowly and distinctly. Granted it was sarcasm, but it was truth. How fortunate I was to serve her... It seems almost comical how I had gone from one deity that betrayed me to another who was cruel to her companions. Are they all corrupt?
I don’t blame Rekka for being mad at Isaac... but sticking a sword in him?
I followed the blood trail, not caring about turning my back on Rekka. She’d be lucky if she could hit me. I also needed to get away and removed myself from the situation at hand. Plus, someone needed to make sure Isaac was okay.
Once in the dim hallway, I could see the blood trail extend on about another 20 yards and disappearing behind a mound of rocks. As I looked around them I found Isaac leaning up against the rocks, focusing on his breathing.
“You think you’ll make it?” I asked, maybe somewhat roughly. Isaac nodded his head. Some softness came over me. I shouldn’t criticize him in this condition... but I did.
“You really shouldn’t have hit her,” I ended up saying. Isaac barely managed to give me a look. I shrugged my shoulders, “As much as we hate her, please let this go. She is the Sangrail.”
Isaac pursed his lips to suppress his anger or pain, maybe both. I figured I best go get everyone else since Isaac was alive and already in the direction of getting out. As I turned around I could see Gideon and Cortanna headed my way. I met them halfway and pointed them in the direction of Isaac. I also mentioned how I was going to get the others.
I scratched at my arm and the thought of the awful water sent a chill up my spine. I knew I had washed myself, but the paranoia of my skin sloughing off was still there. If only we had thought about commanding the flying buckets sooner, perhaps more would have been saved, I thought to myself. Right as I thought that, I remembered the chair! If Gideon could commanded the buckets to fly down with water, why not ask the chair to fly down and carry us out!? Surely they were immune to the antimagic field too?
Joy erupted in my chest and I sprinted through the door to where the villagers and Rekka were left only for my heart stop momentarily. On the floor was Rekka, crumpled over her sword, blood spilling everywhere.
"REKKA!!" I heard myself shout. It was surreal. I went to her side and looked over her body. I remember my hands shaking as they hovered over her unsure what to do or how to save her. I could feel my heart break as the fear of losing Rekka, the Sangrail, the one I was to protect!
“Tilj ut Rekka!” I shouted at her unconscious body, wiping my eye, “Don't you dare die!" I cursed again knowing I had to act fast. I flew harder than I thought possible. The adrenaline coursing through me must have helped. Once out of the well I immediately commanded Raæin to find more chairs. We looked and were able to find 5 of them animated.
“Please, I need you to help me and my friends get out of the well!” I exclaimed in desperation. The chairs immediately took off with me and we returned to find the villagers still there standing around Rekka. I carefully picked her up, hoping I wasn’t killing her by getting her out of the well. I then instructed one of the villagers to stay behind and call down the hallway for my other party members to come back out.
The chairs took off with the 5 of us and we made it out safely.
“Raæin, please heal her, I’ll be back with the others,” I instructed as I carefully laid Rekka down. I didn’t want to leave her, but I knew Raæin would take care of her and I had to get the others out.
When I returned, Cortanna and Gideon have helped Isaac back to the room. They each got on a chair and the rest of us escaped the depths of the well.
It was a mournful sight as I resurfaced and found Raæin nudging Rekka with his horn, but nothing was happening to her body. I sat next to her and held her hand. I began to fidget by brushing her hair away from her face not knowing what to do. I was utterly helpless.
Cortanna leaned down and touched her. “Be healed,” she said. I watched for signs of improvement of her condition. Nothing. I looked to Cortanna.
“I felt it work but... yet it didn’t work...” she said, clearly confused as I was. Something was preventing her from healing and my best thought was the sword in her.
Gideon made an attempt to heal her and was unsuccessful like Cortanna and Raæin. I then was certain it was the blade. Yet I didn’t want her to bleed out if I removed it...
“Cortanna, Gideon, on the count of three, I’m going to pull out the sword, then one of you heal her immediately!” I instructed, “1, 2, 3!” I pulled the sword out as careful as one can to which Gideon touched her.
Nothing happened.
I let it all go. I crumpled over Rekka’s body as the blood continued to flow freely. Nothing worked and now she was to die, if she wasn’t already dead...
I shook uncontrollably. Rekka’s lifeless body laid before me. It was like looking at Meryth. So young. Undeserving of dying. Why couldn’t I have been able to save them? I felt evil for being so helpless to their plight.
As I stared at her through my tears, I saw and felt her disappear from my hands.
“No!” I heard myself shriek, “No! Rekka!” I ran my hands back and forth over the spot where Rekka was and was disappointed to find no invisible body. Just more blood on my hands, literally.
“YOU!” Cortanna suddenly said, “You all were there! Why didn’t you stop her!?” Her voice was haggard and shaky, her eyes red with tears. She was on the verge of losing control herself. As I whirled around to face Cortanna, I saw the villagers and remembered they had called me ‘Arise.’ But first I needed to try and prevent Cortanna from losing herself.
“Cortanna, stop!” I warned her. I didn’t want her to cause more trouble. Emotions were high, everyone was tired.
“We’re sorry about your loss, but we need to go back to our town,” one of them piped up. They then began to take off jogging.
“Wait!” I cried after them, “Why did one of you call me Arise?”
They hesitated, all four stopping mid step. “We didn’t... we wouldn’t- why would you think that?” one of them called back.
“That was what the elderly man said before he died and someone from the crowd said it before bowing down to me.”
“Clearly you misunderstood!” I could tell they were keeping something from me.
“Don’t lie to me!” I said out of frustration, “Why did you call me Arise! Please tell me!” I demanded. They didn’t answer, but resumed to run away toward the woods. An exasperated sigh escaped me.
“We all best get some rest,” I announced. I was about to ask who had the cube for the fortress, but I was bitterly reminded that Rekka placed it in her pocket that morning and was gone. “I suppose our best bet would to take refuge in one of the homes and hope the items there are of similar spirit as the buckets and chairs.”
“That sounds like a great way to get killed,” Isaac said, “However, those folk who ran away, they had to come from somewhere right?”
Isaac was right. Trusting the animated objects to not kill us in our sleep would be foolish, but the thought of pressing after those villagers was overwhelming. I wanted to be alone, I needed to be alone. Emotionally I couldn’t keep together much longer. I was fatigued, like them I’m sure, and the thought of traveling after those folk was most displeasing.
“I agree with Isaac,” Cortanna said. I nodded my head slowly. I then went to Raæin and selfishly hopped up on him. Isaac and Cortanna, especially Cortanna, had had it particularly rough in the water, but I needed to talk with Raæin and this was about as ‘alone’ as I’d be able to get.
“Then let's go, we don’t have much time until it’s dark,” I responded. I then let Raæin lead the way in the direction those other folk ran.
As we walked, I pondered about what was I to do with myself. In one day I was fighting my sanity, confused by who I was without my memories only to regain them. By regaining them there was that moment that everything seemed right, that I was going to be able to fulfill my obligations and prevent or fulfill the prophecy. But now all that hope I had, all the security I once more felt, had vanished with Rekka’s body.
"Raæin, what are we to do?” I whispered to him in Sylvan. I had slumped over his neck, carefully positioning myself so as to not affect his balance as I rested against his form, “...so much happened today, all so quickly. For a moment when I woke up and saw you, it was like everything was going to be alright... I was positive that I was suppose to protect Rekka...” I took a breath as my voice caught, “but she's gone!" I admitted. I let myself cry a little. Raæin patiently waited. "What are we to do now Raæin? Should I even care still?" I barely got out, my voice sounding defeated.
“Our lives had been shaped by prophecy, Mistress,” Raæin began, his voice warm and thoughtful, “Perhaps we ought to shape our own lives?”
Raæin’s words played slowly in my head. Shape our own lives? It seemed so foreign, a concept incapable of taking seed in my mind, or perhaps I was too fatigued to want to think.
As I felt the steady rhythm of Raæin’s movements,  the memory of my final battle as a mortal came to mind. How all those good people died. How I lead with such fervor that I lost all compassion for humanity in my attempts to save the future generations. How loyal Raæin was in following my orders... had I forced him against his will?
"I'm sorry for not seeing more clearly our first life,” I barely uttered to Raæin. The weight of my guilt was almost unbearable, “I can't believe how many good people and creatures died,” I continued, “I'm thankful beyond words that you're still by my side Raæin, but I can't help but wonder why you've stayed with me..." I trailed off. I had to stop for I was worried Raæin would perceive me as pushing him away if I had continued to babble on.
“My choices have always been my own,” Raæin reassured me, “It was out of desire to do the greater good. Rest now Mistress for you are weary.”
With my hands propped on Raæin’s neck, my head resting on them, I closed my eyes and let the little warmth from Raæin’s gentle words creep through me. He was everything I needed, at least in that confusing time.
“I love you, Raæin,” I whispered. It was out of gratitude I said it. Hope for defeating the Gods may have vanished with Rekka and the dagger, but hope that maybe things would turn out alright eventually replaced it. I had Raæin. As long as nothing took him away from me, I really had nothing to fear.



No comments:

Post a Comment